Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.

That doesn’t sound like me. In fact, when my wife first suggested I look into ADHD after hearing some symptoms from a friend, I immediately said “there’s no way I have ADHD.”

“I can’t have ADHD because I have no problem focusing on the things I’m interested in.”

That’s what I thought ADHD was. No ability to focus on anything for more than a few seconds. The kid who always got in trouble in class, literally bouncing off the walls.

That version didn’t really sound like me so I ruled it out.

Then I learned about hyperfocus, and how people with ADHD often had no problem focusing on the things they are interested in. In fact, they often get lost in the things they’re interested in. Spending hours hyperfocused on some hobby without even realizing how much time was passing.

Uh oh. That did sound a lot like me.

So why was I so quick to dismiss the idea initially before learning more about it?

Let’s break apart that name, Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.

“Attention-Deficit”

Right from the start, we have a phrase that doesn’t really sound like how my attention works. My attention is not in deficit. It is in SURPLUS. I’m paying attention to so many little details that it’s hard to keep them straight.

Even when I am distracted by something and stuck in hyperfocus, it does not feel like a deficit of attention. It feels more like I’m focusing a massive amount of attention energy at a single thing.

The label of “attention-deficit” simply doesn’t sound like how it feels to have ADHD.

We don’t lack attention. We just lack the ability to regulate it.

“Hyperactivity”

The truth is, many people with ADHD simply don’t have any outward hyperactivity at all. This often leads to people going undiagnosed because the “hyperactive” language just doesn’t apply to how they actually feel.

And even if you have a hyperactive brain with lots of internalized hyperactivity like racing thoughts, so many ideas they drown each other out, or reliving past experiences that distract you from the present... none of those looks outwardly hyperactive so the label just doesn’t seem to fit.

A Better Name

Sometimes I wonder if I would’ve been diagnosed earlier if the name had been more accurate, so I could identify myself within the name instead of dismissing it.

Kind of like the concept of RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria), a name that I almost immediately thought, “Ooh I think I have that, what is that?”

A few years ago, I asked on social media for some alternative things ADHD could stand for, and these are a few of my favorite:

• Another Day Has Disappeared

• Always Dehydrated Hydration Disorder

• Appointments Don’t Have Dates

• Always Doing Happy Dances

What would you rename ADHD if given the chance?

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Most of us had a picture of ADHD long before we thought we might have it.

Usually it was a kid bouncing off the walls, always in trouble in class, unable to focus on anything for more than a few seconds. If that picture didn’t look like you, the question ended right there.

That’s the real problem with a ba…

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If you aren’t familiar, the idea is that whenever you have some awful, dreadful task that you need to take care of (e.g. eating a frog), you should do it first before anything else. Your will power is supposed to be “fresh” and taking on that difficult task first will make everything easier for the rest of the day.

There are two problems with this advice for people with ADHD.

One, it sounds totally logical! It makes sense! If I finished my most difficult and dreaded task first, the rest of the day will feel easier! All right, what awesome advice!

But for ADHD brains, this advice is a trap.

We set out to eat the frog first. We sit down, stare at the frog, and the frog stares back. The weight of the task hits, your brain feels impossibly overwhelmed and desperately invents excuses and distractions and anything else to keep you from doing this task. Not only do you fail to eat the frog. You waste your entire day staring at the frog and getting nothing else done at all. The frog has won.

Trying to eat the frog first doesn’t work if you can’t eat the frog at all.

My brain doesn’t run on “do this because it’s important.” I need momentum. I need that feeling of things happening in a rush around me where I can feel the winds of accomplishment.

So I say try the opposite: eat the ice cream first.

Start with a task you want to do, something you know will be easy!

Reply to the “fun” email. Get up to make some coffee and water the plants while it brews. Cross off those two-minute tasks that are easy and sound fun.

Doing the “ice cream tasks” might feel a bit like cheating... but that’s kind of the point!

ADHD motivation builds momentum through action, not willpower.

Doing any action makes it easier to do the next action. Momentum is the key. Focus on forward movement more than meaningful progress.

Once you’ve steamrolling through the easy tasks, then you can turn toward the frog.

Now it doesn’t have a chance, you turn toward the big ugly frog task and get halfway through without even realizing it.

Start where starting is easy, and focus on building up your motivation momentum.

P.S. If these motivation ideas have been clicking for you, they’re the foundation of my video course, ADHD Motivation Mastery. The course goes well past just getting started, it also covers keeping momentum, actually finishing, accountability that doesn’t suck, and building a motivation playbook that fits your specific brain.

It’s currently on sale for ADHD Awareness month, check it out here.

Eat the frog is good advice for other brains.

Stare down the hardest thing first thing in the morning and, for me, it takes the whole day hostage. I don’t do the frog. I don’t do anything else either, because the frog is sitting there making every other task feel illegal.

So this sheet plans a morning the …

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Most often, I use my 4 Cs of Motivation framework (Captivate, Create, Compete, Complete) to help me with the process, finding something that is uniquely interesting to my ADHD brain by using interest, novelty, challenge or urgency.

But sometimes, I get stuck with a tricky task where the obvious strategies just don’t seem to work.

Just before writing this, I was tackling a business tax-related task (yes, in October... don’t ask). Normally I might be able to power through a paperwork task by putting on one of my favorite movie soundtracks with my noise-cancelling airpods.

This time, it wasn’t enough.

When you get stuck like this, try adding another C strategy while keeping the first. Keep the music, and then add a timer - how much can you get done in fifteen minutes?

Now you’re using Captivate (music) and a combo of Compete (challenge) and Complete (urgency).

Sometimes that small change, an addition of something new can be just what you need to power through. Stacking multiple Cs helps make it happen.

Don’t get too caught up in the mechanics. It’s easy to make this too technical with questions like:

• “Which C is this strategy?”

• “Is 3 C strategies too many?”

• “This strategy isn’t a C but seems to work, is that okay?”

Remember that the entire point of the 4 Cs of Motivation are to help you get unstuck and give you a framework to help you invent new strategies. If you come up with something else that works, great! If you aren’t sure how something fits in with the 4 Cs - I don’t care!

Lean into what is working, and don’t feel bad when it stops working. Just pivot to something new.

The goal of all of this is to get yourself moving through the task, not create some perfect strategy system.

That said, when you find something that works - write it down! Even if it stops working after awhile, there may be something there worth returning to in the future.

Those old “expired” combinations may be gold again when rediscovered in the future.

P.S. Now is a great time to make some plans to attend next year’s NeuroDiversion conference and hang out with me and other incredible neurodivergent friends!

Tickets are still in early bird sale price, so jump in now! →

Here’s a few slides with more info:

Some tasks shrug off everything you throw at them.

The tax pile with a favorite album playing is still a tax pile. Which feels like proof that the strategy doesn’t work, but usually it just means one wasn’t enough. Leave the music on and add a timer.

Nothing says you only get to pick one.

So this sheet is f…

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(Sometimes you find out too late that you don’t have all the information you needed to start and you have to just improvise because it’s definitely way too late to ask, good thing I’m a creative problem solver…)

But usually, the night before one of those big deadlines, something inside me jumps into action. The focus suddenly shows up, the decisions get easier, I get some sort of supernatural clarity of what I need to be doing, and the work starts happening. The starting gun finally fired and my brain jumps into action.

Honestly, my best work often comes out of nights like those.

But simply waiting around for the panic of a too-soon-deadline is a pretty stressful way to live. And that panic doesn’t always show up in time for even supernatural Jesse to get it done before it’s due.

That’s the double edge of Complete (one of the 4 Cs of Motivation): urgency may be the most reliable motivator we have, but it’s also the one that can hurt us if we’re not careful.

Here are a few ways we can use urgency to our advantage without waiting for the panic to hit:

Shrink the deadline. A deadline three weeks away doesn’t exist to our brains. So break it into pieces that are due soon: the outline by Tuesday, the ugly first draft by Friday. Make deadlines that are close enough to actually feel.

Make it real. Fake deadlines can be easy to ignore, you know who made them up! So add some witnesses. Tell a friend the draft is coming on Monday. Book an appointment you can’t just avoid. When I was writing my book, I recruited early readers because I knew that promising them chapters created deadlines with real people attached.

Borrow a countdown. Small urgency works too: how much can you get done before the kettle starts screaming from the stove, before the big game starts, or before your partner gets home? The most productive I ever was at housecleaning was knowing my parents were almost back from a trip. You can manufacture a tiny deadline out of nothing, and tiny is often enough to start.

But remember that urgency has a cost.

It’s very effective, but running every task on last-minute adrenaline is one of the fastest roads to burnout, that familiar crash that hits after the all-nighter.

Created urgency in doses you pick is the sustainable version. It works best when you’re the one in control.

P.S. Several years ago, I recorded a podcast episode with of and it’s now available to listen to! It’s a super fun conversation about navigating parenting with ADHD and the ups and downs of trying our best to encourage our kids and be the best parent we can.

Why did it take several years to be release? You’ll have to listen and find out!

You can find it on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Podcasts.

Urgency is the most reliable motivator we have. It’s also the one most likely to hurt us.

A deadline three weeks out doesn’t exist to an ADHD brain. The night before, it exists so completely that nothing else is in the room. That’s the trap. The strategy genuinely works, so we keep reaching for the versi…

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Something inside me fills with energy and motivation and pushes me to prove your wrong no matter what. Honestly, it’s not exactly my most flattering trait. It’s definitely gotten me into trouble more than once.

But it’s useful to know that challenge does seem to ignite something within.

That impossible-sounding task that’s been sitting untouched for weeks? After a challenge, it starts to feel inevitable once my brain moves it from the “chore” category into the “dare” category.

That’s Compete in action (one of the 4 Cs of Motivation).

Here are a few strategies for how you can practically put this into action:

• Race the clock. Set a 15 minute timer and see how much you can do within the time limit. How many emails can you reply to? How much mail can you sort? The timer can help you turn “you must work on this” into “bet you can’t beat this.” That sounds much more enticing.

• Compete with your own high score. Yesterday you wrote 200 words, answered four emails, or sorted one drawer of paperwork. Today’s opponent is that number. Track your work and give yourself points if it helps. Our brains can be surprisingly willing to work for made-up points!

• Keep a “Impossible Things” list. Write down those tasks that feel impossible, in those words. Then treat it as a challenge, provoking you into taking them on.

One thing to keep in mind: challenge has a sweet spot.

If the challenge is too easy, it quickly becomes boring. Too hard and it deflates and demotivates you. That sweet spot is challenge that is big enough to be interesting to your brain but not so hard that it feels impossible.

The task itself usually isn’t the problem. The problem is that it doesn’t give our brain anything to push against. So build something to push against.

An important chore is one I often ignore, but a dare or a challenge often gets me energized and ready to prove someone wrong!

This might look different for you though. Racing a friend can be super energizing for some people with ADHD, any chance to prove our worth. But for others, this can be overwhe…

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Then there’s a gap of a few days, a half-scrawled note with good intentions, a couple more days with some random chicken scratch and then 90 blank pages waiting to be used.

The new brilliant notebook system I was using completely abandoned, and finally the notebook goes to join its ancestors in a random drawer somewhere—never to be seen again.

I used to think this was a failure. That I somehow didn’t design the system right or I didn’t have enough “willpower” to make it work for me. But that strong start wasn’t just some sort of accident.

In the beginning, my brain is getting dopamine from the exciting newness of a fresh notebook. I didn’t have to will myself into doing anything, the “newness” was doing all the work.

Most people treat this burst of activity as a problem because it eventually fades. But I’ve start to treat is more as a tool. Like it’s a known fact about how my brain works.

Unlike interest, novelty can be manufactured on demand.

Why do you think people with ADHD are often so creative? We’re leaning into that novelty that moves our brains into action.

I call this Create (one of the 4 Cs of Motivation), and it’s a useful tool for making boring tasks feel new and exciting. Here are some strategies for using Create:

1. Change the scenery. Take your work to a coffee shop, the library, a friend’s house, or even just a different room in your own home. Rearrange your desk. Work outside if the weather is nice. The same task in a brand new setting can be the trick that gets you moving again.

2. Do it weird. Embrace the weirdness with no shame, try cleaning your house like a spy who has three minutes before the guards return. Fold your laundry in rainbow order (ROY G. BIV FTW) or by your favorite to least favorite items. Invent a creative way to do something that’s probably never been done that way before. It sounds silly because it is silly! And that’s the point. That silliness is novelty, and novelty is fuel for our brain.

3. Give newness a purpose. When you’re in that early honeymoon period with something like a new notebook, a fresh gadget, or a new productivity system you just found on Youtube—use that excitement to tackle something important you’ve been avoiding. Ride the wave of newness for as long as it lasts.

When the novelty fades (because it always, always will), that doesn’t mean the method or strategy failed. It’s expected, that’s the nature of novelty.

So mix up the scenery, invent a new strategy, or start something new again.

Novelty is a renewable resource! It just has a short shelf life, so you need to flex your creativity and restock often.

Whenever I start with a new notebook, everything is great. But eventually… the fade sets in.

The initial burst isn’t surprising. It’s because of the novelty. It’s something new and shiny and my brain is excited to give it a try. When that novelty fades, it’s not because of some sort of failure. It’s just th…

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If you only want ADHD strategies and topics, you’ll still get those every Tuesday.

You can edit your notifications at extrafocus.com/account to control what you see.

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If you give me an interesting problem, I’ll work on it for six hours straight, forget to eat or go to bathroom or any other life obligations that previously seemed important.

But a boring task? Even a really simple, probably-should-take-five-minutes task? I’ll stare at it for hours, my brain doing everything it can to avoid it.

It’…

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Talking yourself into finding something interesting doesn’t work.

I’ve tried. Your brain knows the game and refuses to play along. This worksheet doesn’t ask you to suddenly care about that boring task. It actually assumes this isn’t really possible.

The trick is borrowing interesting instead. Finding it somew…

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It’s by far one of my least favorite chores.

It’s boring. It’s monotonous. And it never feels like I’m really doing much of anything. It’s like many chores in this way, but for some reason it really strikes the perfect “I really don’t want to do this” balance.

The problem is, it’s pretty important too. There are only so many eating…

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Knowing that something was important has never actually helped me get it done.

What does help is one of four things: interest, novelty, challenge, or urgency.

I call them the 4 Cs of Motivation:

• Captivate (interest)

• Create (novelty)

• Compete (challenge)

• Complete (urgency).

The 4 Cs are how you add motivation to …

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Filling one out takes maybe ten minutes. For most people. For me it felt like it would probably take ten hours.

I knew it was important. I often couldn’t get paid without it.

But I still couldn’t make myself do it. No matter how important it was, no matter how big the reward was, no matter how harsh the consequence was.

And …

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Most of us heard three common claims about motivation early on. Claims which stuck with us, even though they never seemed to fit with our own experience.

“If it’s important to you, you’ll do it.”

“A bigger reward will get you moving.”

“Harsher consequences build your willpower.”

This worksheet helps you disprove…

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There’s another pile hidden under my nightstand. Probably a few more stuffed inside an old backpack. Nice shiny ones. Expensive ones.

I had a really fancy one shipped from Japan. It was beautiful. It had an elaborate setup of tags and index rules and... some other great ideas that were all abandoned…

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