Hey friends,

Happy New Year! 🎉

I think New Year’s resolutions have started to get a bad rap in recent years. And I get it! Sometimes they can become more of a source of guilt when we fall short, which is never helpful.

But even so, I still find that making positive intentions to kick off a new year can be an effective way to actually tackle some of those things you’ve wanted to prioritize. Too often the busyness of daily distraction details makes it difficult to think about anything else, so an event or day like New Year’s can help us rearrange our priorities going forward.

With that in mind, I’ve got a couple of deals that can help you kick off the new year:

ADHD Motivation Mastery is 50% off

If you’ve been wanting to get unstuck and start taking actions on those things that matter, this is a great time to do it. The ADHD Motivation Mastery course teaches you how to stay consistent and actually finish things, using strategies designed to work with your ADHD brain instead of against it.

I’ve also just updated the course to be fully self-paced (thanks to previous students for sharing feedback about this 💙). So now you get the entire course unlocked immediately and can move through it at whatever speed works for you!

Get ADHD Motivation Mastery

Get Wavepal for 25% off

If one of your goals for 2026 is to stay better in touch with the friends and family you care about, Wavepal can help with that! It was designed to help you remember the people that matter in your life, track all those important details, and just generally be your partner in better fostering your relationships.

It was created out of my own personal frustration with how much I truly do care about those people in my life, but my brain just doesn’t do a great job at remembering to reach out or keeping track of those important dates, names, etc.

Wavepal is still waitlist-only, but through this deal you can skip the wait and get access right away (for a nice little discount too).

Get Wavepal Access

Plan Your Extra Focus Year workbook

If you want to reflect on the past year and set some of those positive intentions for 2026, the Plan Your Extra Focus Year workbook can help. It uses the SPARK model to guide you through celebrating what went well, picking a focus for the year ahead, and mapping out how to actually make it happen. It's available for all paid subscribers or as a one-time purchase. More details are available here:

One more thing (workshop date change)

Speaking of, I’m also doing a Plan Your Extra Focus Year workshop for anyone who gets the workbook, but it’s been pushed back a week (it turns out scheduling it right after New Year’s was a bit too ambitious on my part 😅).

It will now be next week: Friday, January 16th at 3pm PST. I’ll send out the calendar link next week to paid subscribers and anyone who grabs the workbook from Gumroad.

— Jesse

This last year was a wild one for me.

It’s all been a bit of a whirlwind, and not one that’s wrapped up neatly with a bow at the end of the year. I’m still very much in the messy middle of a life transition and I have no idea where it will end up. I have no idea what the next year will bring.

Someone asked recently if I was doing my annual workbook and workshop this year and to be honest, I’d kind of forgotten about it!

When you’re still in the middle of things that are still unsettled, it can be hard to even think about taking time to reflect.

But often that’s exactly when reflection is most important.

While traditional planners have always felt too strict to be realistic or very useful, I’ve found that doing some reflection and celebrating of what went well, and deciding on a specific focus or theme for the year can be especially valuable.

I’ve given this much more structure in the Plan Your Extra Focus Year workbook with the SPARK model.

The SPARK model is a unique framework that guides you through 🌟 Spotlight, 🔍 Prioritize, 💭 Aspire, 🗺️ Roadmap, and 💪 Keep Going – each step a conversation with yourself to foster introspection and practical planning.

You can check out this video walkthrough of the SPARK model:

Here’s how you can download your copy of the Plan Your Extra Focus Year 2026 workbook:

Paid supporters:

Thank you so much for being a supporter! 💙

• Simply scroll to the end of this email to find your download link. ⤵️

Everyone else (2 options):

• Become a paid supporter to unlock the download link in this post

OR

• Buy as a one-time purchase from Gumroad

Live Plan Your Year Workshop

I’ll also be hosting a live workshop right at the start of the year where we can walk through the workbook together and body-double as we work on our plan for the upcoming year.

The workshop will be on January 2nd, 2026 at 3pm PST.

In the week leading up to the event, I’ll send the calendar link out to paid subscribers and anyone who gets the workbook from Gumroad.

Stay curious,
Jesse J. Anderson

Download the Plan Your Extra Focus Year 2026 Workbook Here

Read more

Plan Your Extra Focus Year - 2026 workbook

Embrace Your ADHD Journey with Plan Your Extra Focus Year 2026, a uniquely designed workbook that turns the ADHD journey into a path of self-discovery, achievement, and personal growth.

Dive into a guided experience that understands the ebbs and flows of your world, helping you celebrate successes, set meaningful goals, and stay motivated throughout the year.

Read more

If you don’t have ADHD, it might be hard to know how best to communicate with your friends/family that do have ADHD.

Even with good intentions, you may say something that unintentionally triggers some deep shame and pain.

This guide is a quick lesson on some of the things you should avoid saying to people with ADHD.

“You don’t seem to have any problem focusing on [video games, tv, your phone, etc]…”

This misunderstands how ADHD affects attention. Despite “Attention Deficit” being part of the name, people with ADHD don’t actually have a deficit of attention. We have an abundance of attention, but it is dysregulated attention which means it can be difficult to aim.

Sometimes we can even hyperfocus on things, which is a type of directed attention that’s so intense that we don’t notice other things around us. Things like people calling our name, the passing of time, or that we haven’t had anything to eat or drink for hours.

“People with ADHD are just lazy.”
“You just need to try harder.”

This is an extremely hurtful thing to say to someone with ADHD, because it labels the difficulties that come with ADHD as some sort of moral failing, as if it’s a conscience choice.

We often desperately want to do the right thing but there is a brain blocker that can make it feel impossible to move into action.

“Why did you do it like that?”
“No, you’re supposed to do it THIS way.”

ADHD brains often have a different way of thinking, especially when it comes to problem solving.

While in a given situation, there might be what some would consider the “common sense” approach, that’s often counter to how the ADHD brain works. Rather than judging the method, pay attention to the results.

The divergent thinking that comes with ADHD often leads to finding alternative ways of solving a problem, which can even be an improvement on the common sense approach. And even if not, it may be the way that is easier for OUR brain, even if it makes less sense to someone else.

“You’re too smart to have ADHD.”
“You can’t have ADHD, you [graduated college, have a great career, etc].”

This can be hurtful to hear as it dismisses the lifelong struggle that someone with ADHD has had to go through in order to reach any of those achievements.

Having ADHD doesn’t preclude you from taking on big challenges in life, it just means that it was likely much more difficult and a lot of the struggles were hidden behind the scenes.

“Have you tried using [a todo list/app, a calendar, a planner, etc]?”

Even though this is usually well-intentioned advice, it can be insulting and belittling to suggest something so obvious as using a planner.

When I spoke to my doctor about ADHD for the first time, he beckoned me over to his desk like he was about to show me some life-changing knowledge about ADHD that would change everything for me. Instead, he just showed me the outlook calendar on his laptop, as if using a calendar app was a brand new concept to me and was going to cure my ADHD.

I promise you that someone with ADHD has tried just about every single productivity trick you can think of to help with motivation, planning, time management, etc. They probably own dozens of planners, todo apps, calendars, etc.

We know “what” we should do, the problem is that ADHD makes it difficult to do what we know.

What else should you keep in mind when speaking to a coworker, friend, or relative with ADHD?

I think one of the most important things to know about people with ADHD is that our intentions are usually in the right place.

We are trying so hard to do the right thing.

One of the worst parts of growing up with ADHD is people seeing the way your ADHD presents itself and thinking that you are just trying to be difficult or bad or whatever on purpose. Many children with ADHD (especially those with hyperactive-impulsive presentation) are labelled as “bad” kids despite them trying so hard to be good and fit in.

It’s like you’re constantly being quizzed in a class despite never being taught the material, so every day is just another failure and you never really understand why.

People don’t see that you are actually just struggling to fit into what people want of you because your brain doesn’t work the same way as most other people.

Another way of saying all that is, assume the best intentions of people with ADHD and you will almost always be right.

— Jesse

P.S. I’m currently selling my ADHD Motivation Mastery course at half price to celebrate ADHD Awareness Month! It’s a much deeper dive into how to make motivation work for ADHD. Helping you get unstuck so you can start taking action, stay consistent, and finally finish those things that matter.

It’s a super ADHD-friendly 7-week course with short videos, worksheets, and transcripts available for each lesson.

Sign up now while it’s still half price, the month is almost over!

​

P.P.S. My book Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to Adult ADHD is still available for free for the next couple of days!

You can download a copy for free here.
(comes with both the PDF version and EPUB version).

Hey friends,

October is ADHD Awareness month!

So for the rest of October, I’m giving away my book, Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to Adult ADHD!

You can download a copy for free here.
(comes with both the PDF version and EPUB version).

Why am I giving it away for free?

A couple of reasons.

One. Extra Focus is the book I wish I’d been given when I first got diagnosed with ADHD. I wrote it to truly be a quick start guide, just the essentials you need to understand ADHD and how to take practical action with that understanding.

This recent review sums it up well:

Basically furious that this book (or something like it) wasn’t prescribed to me when I started asking mental health professionals whether I had ADHD, twenty-plus years ago.​
​
​It fills a gap that neither meds nor the denial of meds can fill—basic information about ADHD from someone who actually knows what they’re talking about.

I really just want to make sure that anyone who could use a copy of my book can get a copy.

Two. I’m hoping that if you love it, you’ll gift a copy to friends and family with ADHD. If you want to purchase a copy and support me, you can buy it anywhere books are sold (including direct from me).

All links are available at extrafocusbook.com.

I know this book has made a difference for so many people, and that truly fills me with such joy and fulfillment.

Hearing that the book has helped some people better understand their daughter or their boyfriend or spouse or coworker is one of the coolest feelings in the world. Because I know just how hard it is to be that person that others don’t seem to understand.

Just knowing I’ve made a difference in these lives means so much.

Thank you.

— Jesse

P.S. It’s not too late to get the early bird discount for the NeuroDiversion conference in March. But it’s almost too late so claim your spot now and get that sweet $100 discount for signing up early.

Hey friends,

There’s a bunch of exciting things happening right now!

• NeuroDiversion 2026

• ADDitude Live Webinar: Men with ADHD

• A Productive Conversation with Mike Vardy

• Update on Wavepal

NeuroDiversion 2026

Earlier this year, I attended the inaugural NeuroDiversion conference and it was incredible!

I loved it so much I wrote this at the time:

NeuroDiversion was more than just a conference—it felt like finding my home with the people that truly understand me. I didn’t have to worry about hiding my true self or being “too much” or anything like that. I was just hanging out with people who understood me.
​
The talks were exceptional and very action-oriented, but the real magic was connecting with everyone else between sessions. It was validating and energizing and empowering, a community I’m happy to be part of and I can’t wait to see everyone again at the next one.
​
It’s a must attend for anyone who is neurodivergent and seeking both practical insights and genuine connection and acceptance.

Early bird tickets just went on sale for NeuroDiversion 2026 and I’d love to see you there! There’s something magical about meeting people in person and no longer feeling like you need to mask just to be around other people.

​Claim your spot now and get yourself a sweet $100 discount for signing up early​

That’s an affiliate link so you’ll be helping me out by using it (thx! 🙏), but seriously this is the best conference for ADHDers and I absolutely cannot wait to attend again in 2026!

ADDitude Live Webinar: Men with ADHD

Really looking forward to this panel in partnership with ADDitude Magazine, The Hidden Complexities of Men with ADHD.

We go live tomorrow (Tuesday, Oct 7th) so don’t miss it!

You can register for the free panel here:

​https://www.additudemag.com/webinar/adhd-symptoms-in-men-roundtable​

A Productive Conversation with Mike Vardy

I met Mike in person for the first time a few years ago at the Craft + Commerce conference in Boise and we hit it off right away. It was so fun getting to chat on his podcast, especially with a live audience asking questions in the chat just to make it extra fun (and maybe just a bit distracting 😂).

This conversation was so much fun as we talk about the challenges of attention, time, and motivation.

​A Productive Conversation - Episode 625: Jesse J. Anderson Talks About ADHD, Extra Focus, and Finding Flow​

— Jesse

P.S. I’ve been working hard on Wavepal and we just launched a private beta version of the iOS app.

If you don’t know about Wavepal, it’s an app I’m building with a friend to help me remember to stay in touch with my friends (cuz “out of sight, out of mind” means I forget to reach out to people I care about).

Want in? Email hello@wavepal.app and tell me what’s hardest about being a good friend, or what usually gets in the way of staying in touch.

Hey friends,

I took 5 cold showers this last week.

Five ice cold, chilling-to-the-bone, miserable showers.

Not as a brag, not as some sort of challenge or effort to make my skin healthier or embrace my inner hustle culture.

No, I took 5 cold showers because I’m bad at maintenance.

Last week, I noticed some standing water in the corner our garage. It was coming from the water heater. I looked around and it didn’t seem too bad, the garage wasn’t flooded or anything, but it was a concern for sure.

The next day, the water had reached a little further and started to seep into those boxes we’d packed up in a previous move and had sat in the garage ever since.

Not good.

The source was our water heater, a slow-but-steady drip was coming from underneath. We had someone come out to take a look and it turns out that there are a few steps I should have been taking for the last 7 years... like flushing the tank at least once a year, checking the anode rod, etc.

Without that regular maintenance, when a water heater dies, it’s done. Too late for repairs or anything to try and salvage it.

So after a couple (6) trips to the hardware store, we eventually got a new heater installed. (I say “we” but really my dad did everything while I mostly watched and handed him tools)

Unfortunately, after we finally got everything installed, we discovered that the BRAND NEW water heater had a manufacturer’s defect... and I had to make some phone calls (aka my personal hell) to schedule someone to come out and take a look.

The back-and-forth took several days (and bickering about money, another of my favorite activities) and we finally got the heater fixed after just under a week.

Bad at Maintenance

I’ve never been good at maintenance. Homes, health, relationships, etc. I’m really good at the start—energized and armed with the best intentions. Learning everything I can and taking action.

But over time, I lose focus (or more accurately, my focus shifts onto something new and fun and shiny). Efforts of maintenance are never super satisfying so they quickly fall to the bottom of my imaginary todo list.

Spoiler alert: I never get to the bottom of that list.

Now that I know about the maintenance required for the water heater, I’m trying to take some action, something that will help me take the action I won’t remember to take on my own when my focus shifts and the enigma of time keeps on... enigma-ing.

Setting reminders

I use an app called Due which is excellent at nagging you and nagging you until you mark something as done. You can just keep snoozing it, which sounds like it would be a problem but is perfect for me. It allows me to stick to a hard rule that I never EVER mark something as completed in Due unless it’s fully done.

Maybe I snooze something 20 times, but since I never ever mark it as done until it’s done, it never completely falls out of my brain like things tend to do sometimes.

I’ve added recurring reminders to flush the tank and check the anode rod, now that I know those are important.

Taking notes (because I won’t magically remember)

Sometimes a reminder pops up that is intimidating because it feels like it’s going to be a bunch of work. I once avoided filing my business’s annual report because I was scared it was going to be bunch of work. Turns out, it was super fast and easy!

I’ve since updated the reminder to now say “File WA LLC Annual Report (it’s easy!!)“ so when it popped up earlier this month, I was reminded that it’s an easy process and I just immediately took care of it instead of avoiding and dreading it for weeks and weeks. I’ll likely do the same with the water heater tasks once I’ve done them.

These things will definitely help, but I also know that maintenance is just always going to be a struggle for me.

I take steps to help mitigate it and plan for it, but I also just need to be a bit forgiving of myself. I know that when I forget to take care of something like this, it might mean I have to deal with some frustrating (and often expensive) consequences. But I don’t need to add “feeling bad about myself as a person” on top of it. That’s not going to help me or anyone else.

The goal is to do what I can to plan for the future, and hope that a few reminders might help save me from more cold showers in the future.

Those cold showers were soooooo miserable, it felt like the water was coming straight off of a glacier.

But that hot shower I finally got to take when everything was finally done? Heaven.

— Jesse

Hey friends,

When I say “you should just do it right now...” what is the task that immediately comes to mind?

There’s probably something you’ve been avoiding that just lingers in the back of your brain. It may even cloud over your thoughts, looming in the background.

The “Do It Now” principle is simply the idea that as soon as you think of “that thing” you should immediately start doing it.

“I have to put away the leftovers tonight”
​Do it now!

“I need to renew my business license”​
​Do it now!

“I haven’t texted my friend in awhile”​
​Do it now!

The reality is, when you’re thinking of those things in the moment, it’s likely because you know it’s important or it’s something that you’ve forgotten to do in the past, so it jumps out for a moment in your mind to try to grab your attention.

But just because it’s important, doesn’t mean we’ll magically remember or be motivated to do it later.

With ADHD, we need to seize those opportunities when our brain tries to get our attention. Try to act on instinct and respond immediately to those little thoughts.

Even if you can’t complete the full task, get it started so you can make forward progress instead of hoping for that magic moment later.

— Jesse

Super excited for this new video on why focusing is so difficult when you have ADHD, including 3 strategies for better focus!

You'll want to check out the whole video, but here's a quick preview of the strategies I talk about:

1. Use External Filters. We can't rely on the filters in our head to block out distractions, so we need to make external filters to keep those distractions from reaching out senses.

2. Add Guiding Bumpers. In addition to blocking out the distractions, we need to add pointers that reflect our focus back to the thing we're intending to focus on. Writing down your intentions, using visual timers to remind you that it's focused work time, etc.

3. Don't Be Efficient. This might sound counter-intuitive, but I often fall into the trap of trying so hard to be efficient, that the goal of efficiency actually becomes my primary distraction. I can't multitask my way into perfect focus.

— Jesse

P.S. For parents of ADHDers, an exciting FREE event is happening next week, TEFOS: The Executive Function Online Summit for Parents.

I'm super excited to be a speaker this year!

TEFOS was one of the first resources I found many years ago when my daughter and I were first diagnosed with ADHD, and I learned so much about how to help support my kids with their executive function challenges thanks to the incredible experts at this virtual conference, so it's an honor to be a part this year.

​Sign up for free today and don't forget to mark your calendars for August 15-18th!

Hey friends,

I hate being the friend that forgets.

It sucks. I try so hard to remember to stay in touch with friends, family members... but out of sight, out of mind is my constant reality. My brain just forgets people when I don't see them, even people that are really important to me!

With some of my friends, they get it. Likely because they have ADHD too and experience the same thing. We'll pick up just where we left off without getting offended or even realizing how much time has passed.

But others . . . don't.

I've been called a bad friend, and it hurts.

Especially because I know how much I'm trying to be a good friend, the type of friend that responds quickly and never forgets a birthday or anniversary (or the names of your kids).

But my actions don't always line up with my good intentions.

Here are a few tricks to help you stay in touch:

1. 10-second rule. When someone pops into your head, send them something right away! Maybe it's just an emoji or a "thinking of you!" or a funny meme you saw recently, just something to let them know they came to mind.

2. Photo screensavers. Create a screensaver for your computer that uses randomized photos of the people you care about. This helps you break through the "out of sight, out of mind" problem because now you've got the visual to remind you! When you see someone and think "oh I wonder how they're doing," follow the 10-second rule and send them a quick hello!

3. Daily/weekly goals. Create a goal to reach out to 3 people a day, or 5 people a week, or whatever works for you. Even better if you tie it to an existing routine like sending out a couple of friendly text messages while your morning coffee brews.

Many phones now let you schedule text messages, so even if you think of someone at a random time (like when you're avoiding going to bed at 1am...), you can schedule a text message to send at a more appropriate time.

Earlier this year, I started working with a friend on creating a solution for this problem of forgetting to stay in touch with friends in family.

It's an app called Wavepal and it's been so helpful for helping me keep track of the friends I stay in touch with, tracking new people I meet (especially great for conferences!), and reminding me to reach out to those people when it's been awhile since we last chatted.

Plus it's a great place to store important info like names of kids, spouses, etc or even random notes like gift ideas.

I'm really excited because we're getting really close to letting more people try it out!

If you want to be one of the first to get an invite code, make sure to join the waitlist! I think it's going to be so helpful for people the way it's been helpful for me, and I can't wait to hear more about how people are using it and how it's helping you be the type of friend you wanna be.

— Jesse

P.S. If you have kids with ADHD, there's a super exciting event coming up in just a couple of weeks (and it's completely free!). It's called TEFOS: The Executive Function Online Summit for Parents.

I'm super excited because this year I'm a speaker for TEFOS!

This was one of the first resources I found many years ago when my daughter and I were first diagnosed with ADHD, and I learned so much about how to help support my kids with their executive function challenges thanks to the incredible experts at this virtual conference, so it's an honor to be a speaker this time around!

​Sign up for free today and don't forget to mark your calendars for August 15-18th!

Hey friends,

Last week I posted about one of my frustrations with common productivity advice:

"Just break it down into smaller steps!"
​
Cool. Now I have 42 tiny tasks I'm avoiding instead of one big task.
​
Thanks?

I think one of the biggest things frustrating about this type of advice is how often people seem to use the word "just" when giving us advice, as if it's not something we've ever heard of before.

"Just" is such a dismissive word that never fails to make me feel bad about how my brain happens to work.

But when you're struggling with a big project, what strategy actually will work to help?

Instead of trying to break down ever step, I try to break it down into only the first couple of steps.

These are the type of steps you're looking for:

• They sound fun, exciting, or maybe even creative

• They are something you can act on now

• They can be accomplished relatively quickly

List out a few steps that match these criteria, and then get moving. Most of the time, you won't even need to worry about the rest of the steps because once you get going, you can use that momentum to just start tackling additional tasks without needing a giant, overwhelming task list to intimidate you.

Focus on building momentum. Once your motivation train has gained some speed, you'll be able to figure out the additional steps along the way.

— Jesse

P.S. My ADHD Motivation Mastery course + community is still available to join, but only until Friday.

P.P.S. I'm also hosting a free virtual ADHD Motivation Class this Friday! Sign up for the motivation class here.

Hey friends,

Years ago, I was on a camping trip with some friends and I learned something that's stuck with me to this day, something I never thought I would learn while camping out in the wilderness.

Was it some important life lesson? The importance of friendship or camaraderie? Whether or not to run when face-to-face with a bear? Or some important life skill like putting up the tent without breaking any of those weird plastic sticks with strings inside, or rolling up a sleeping bag so that it actually fit back in the bag it came in?

No, nothing like that.

I learned how to solve a Rubik's cube.

My friend Andy was a real math nerd, and would often talk about how awesome he thought math was (later he became a math teacher to no one's surprise). He had just recently learned how to solve a Rubik's cube and had brought several with him on the trip.

At first we were just amazed he could actually do it, we'd never seen one actually be solved before!

"Do you guys wanna learn how?"

Suddenly, learning to solve those cubes become the entire purpose of the camping trip. We sat around the campfire for hours learning patterns and twisting the cubes to get those solid colors lined up on the sides just right.

I've never felt more like a nerd. It was awesome.

I was reminded of this skill of mine this past weekend when a friend invited me to attend the Rubik's WCA World Championship in Seattle. I got to see the very best "cubers" in the world competing live.

My personal best time solving a cube is probably around 2 minutes, which used to feel pretty fast. My friend's son is just a little bit faster and can solve one in around 11 seconds.

The winner this year? Their average solve time was 4.23 seconds...

So I've got a bit of room for improvement.

Learning to solve a Rubik's cube was actually really difficult at first. Even as you learn a pattern, it feels so far from the finish line and you just feel like you'll never get there.

But there were a few key factors that really helped us to hyperfocus and learn to solve:

• Boredom, aka no distractions. We were out in the middle of nowhere. This was pre-iPhone so no digital devices at all. All we had were a giant national forest, a campfire, some camping chairs, and a handful of Rubik's cubes.

• Social accountability and competition. Without knowing it, we'd created a perfect storm of body doubling and accountability. Every time one of us would master a pattern, it would drive the rest of us to want to try harder and catch up. It was easy to stay focused on repeating a pattern because that's what we were all doing.

When you struggle with a task or project that feels like it might be impossible (like solving a Rubik's cube), think about all of the tiny little factors that might be affecting your focus.

It can be so easy to give up on something when you're surrounded by devices and opportunities for dopamine, which feel even more appealing with every passing moment.

So hide those distractions. Leave your phone in another room, set a timer dedicated to your current task, or find a friend to work alongside.

Maybe all 3 together.

— Jesse

P.S. I currently have a few spots available for one-off coaching (or you can get a 3-pack bundle). Whether you want ADHD coaching, consulting on specific challenges, or just want to pick my brain about strategies that might work for you, your business, etc—I'd love to help!

These sessions are perfect if you're looking for targeted support without a long-term commitment. Interested? You can schedule a time here to check available and book a spot before they fill up:

• ​Schedule a single session​

• ​Schedule a 3-pack session​

Hey friends,

In school, my report cards always seemed to talk about my potential.

"He has such potential—if he'd only focus on the right things."
"Has a lot of potential, but doesn't turn his work in on time."
"Could achieve so much more if he would apply himself."
"Capable of excellent work, but only when interested."
"Keeps getting in the way of his own potential."
"Would excel if they could stay on task."

Apparently, according to my teachers, I had all the makings of success but was robbing myself of it somehow.

The problem with these phrases, is that all the blame seems to fall on my shoulders. I don't hear anything positive about my potential, I hear about how I'm somehow messing it all up. That I should be better somehow, but I'm not.

All I can hear is that it's all my fault.

Even now, that curse of potential continues to ring in my ears whenever someone says something positive about me.

I think about the years of disappointing my teachers, worried I'm going to do the same as an adult. Worried that "potential" is a code word for how I'm going to fail or fall short.

Many of you know, I was laid off from my job earlier this year.

Since then, I've been working on building a business out of the ADHD education and advocacy work I've been doing. And as I talk with other business owners and founders, I often hear that worrying word again.

Potential.

I'm thankful to be surrounded by amazing people that are cheerleading me and encouraging me as I navigate my business, and try to turn the work I love to do (helping people with ADHD) into something that supports me and my family.

But part of me hears my friends tell me about my potential and... well, it terrifies me.

Which is so frustrating.

Potential is a word that is meant to be encouraging! And should be encouraging! But I have this negativity bias, this internal critic that's trying to tell me that it's a bad word.

Aren't brains just funny like that?

My brain always seems to be trying to find a negative out of a positive, like every compliment is a trick meant to trip me up rather than just a compliment or word of encouragement.

This is one of the reasons I recommend keeping a Smile File.

When you have ADHD, it's so easy to forget about the positive things in your life, whether it's the encouraging words from friends, or a record of the successes you've had in life. I recommend dedicating a place to record these so you can return to it whenever you're feeling discouraged, or can sense your brain trying to turn a positive into a negative.

The truth is, my friends that are encouraging me right now are giving positivity without caveats. There's no "if" or "but" attached to their words. That's just something my brain keeps trying to find.

But I'm done with that. I'm tired of trying to figure out the puzzle of how an encouraging word is somehow supposed to make me feel bad.

I'm going to start claiming potential as a word of positivity again.

Heck yeah I have potential!

I can't wait to show it to the world.

— Jesse

Hey friends,

Recently I had the chance to meet someone who is a top expert in their field, hoping our conversation would go well and I'd be able to work with them.

I knew that for this side project I was thinking about, working with them would give me a better chance of getting more attention on my project and ultimately leading to a success. I was stoked that they took the time to meet with me, and hoped we would hit it off and it would be the start of something super cool.

That's not exactly how it went.

The conversation was... fine. They were perfectly kind and offered a lot of helpful advice and suggestions. But something about the conversation was not sitting right with me.

They seemed really focused on the barriers I would have to finding success. The things that would get in the way, the things that could go wrong, why I was being too ambitious and hoping for too much based on my situation.

I did thank them for taking the time to meet with me (and genuinely appreciated that they took the time). Then I just spent some time thinking about what just happened, and why it just felt so... off.

I entered the meeting excited, and left feeling deflated.

I think for the right person, this meeting would've been exactly the type of thing they needed. Maybe this person is an expert in their field precisely because they help push people into grinding and proving their way to the top.

But man. That just ain't me.

As I thought about it, I realized just how important it is for me to align with the energy for someone I'm going to work with. I'm not talking about woo-woo energy or anything like that, just the general vibe and what we are focused on.

This person was just so focused on the "why it can't work"s and I know that is the sort of thing that is going to drain me, not energize me.

I can't afford to have things that drain me unless they are absolutely necessary.

I need a focus on why it can work, reaching for the stars and figuring it out along the way. Encouragement and vision and belief that we'll get there, even if things stand in our way.

One thing I've learned about the way my brain works, is that trying to force things because I think "this would work for someone else" or "this should work for me" is just going to end up with failure and shame.

I need to trust that when my brain says something is off, then something is off.

And that's okay.

— Jesse

P.S. I started posting some of my ADHD Nerds podcast episodes on a ​new YouTube channel​. Subscribe now if you want to see each video episode as I add them, and maybe... new episodes soon?

Here’s something else fun I did recently:

​Growth in Reverse podcast​

While I was in Boise for the Craft + Commerce conference recently, I recorded an episode on the Growth in Reverse podcast. We talked about the business side of running a newsletter, strategies for navigating all the different platforms, and being open and honest about how I'm navigating the business world now that I'm trying to make self-employment work. 😅

It was so fun to chat with my friends Chenell and Dylan, if you're at all interested in the business of running a newsletter or curious about the behind-the-scenes of what I do, you should check it out:

• 📺 ​Video version​

• 🎙️ ​Audio version

This past week I was at 2 amazing in-person events, both located in Boise, Idaho.

My favorite part might be that I get to use these events as an excuse for a short solo road-trip. There are few things I love more than just cruising for hours and hours by myself—does that make me weird?

While neither event was specifically ADHD-focused, entrepreneurs have a much higher likelihood of having ADHD than the general population, so it really felt like I was "among my people" last week.

To start it off, I'm a member of Jay Clouse's The Lab community and we had our first in-person event where 40 of us gathered together and essentially share the ups and downs of running a creator business and help each other strategize what to do in the coming year.

I got to meet some amazing people in person for the first time and borrow tons of great wisdom. It rocked.

After that, I attended Craft + Commerce, one of my favorite conferences of the year. There's just something about C+C that seems to attract all the best kinds of people, and we get to learn from some of the creators that are just killing it.

This year, something stood out to me.

Through all the masterminds and hallway conversations and talking business strategies over ice cream, it struck me just how easy it was for any of us to see clear paths and direction for someone else’s business, yet so so difficult to see it for our own.

It was almost universal, someone would share some of the troubles they’re experiencing, or be at a crossroads with what to do next, and everyone else at the table could very clearly see what the next steps should be.

I’m not exactly sure why this is, but I’m pretty sure it extends beyond just business advice.

So how can we use this to help ourselves?

1. Get out of your head.

2. Story time.

3. Talk to the duck.

Get out of your head

Whether you're trying to solve some business problem, dealing with a crossroads where you just can't decide the next step, or just struggling to get through a project—one of the best things we can do is try to get everything out of our head.

Grab a notebook, some index cards, whatever so you can start to write down the things you're thinking about. In our head, those ideas tends to swing towards the negative, and it can be hard to parse through the brain fog to see the concrete ideas of what we need to consider and actually deal with.

Once you write it down, things become much more obvious and clear. You get the chance to look at things much more objectively.

Story time

Sometimes, when I have a hard time making a decision about my life, I try to think of myself as a character in my own life story.

"What should this character do?"

When I ask myself what choice the character in my life story should make, it can bring additional clarity to the situation.

There's a similar phrase, "do it for the plot", but I think that leans a bit more towards making the most radical choice, rather than the best choice.

It might make life more exciting, but maybe not the best for important life choices or business direction. 😅

Talk to the duck

And finally, some advice that will be familiar to many software developers—talk aloud to some inanimate object (like a rubber ducky) and describe the problem you're struggling with. Lay out what you've tried, what you're struggling with, what you're considering doing next.

Just like writing it down, there can be some power in putting those thoughts into actual verbal words.

Also, just in the nature of describing a problem to someone (or in this case, something), you often reveal to yourself bits of information that can help you solve the problem.

— Jesse J. Anderson

Here’s something else fun I did recently:

🎙️ ​ADHd20 Podcast​
Had a great time as a guest on this podcast where we talk about ADHD and the intersection with gaming. This episode really covers the gamut, between adult diagnosis, ADHD myths that refuse to die, and why trying hard just isn't a viable strategy.

Growing up, I often heard the nickname “Messy Jesse.”

Not only because it was a catchy rhyme that was easy for people to think of—but also because I was usually surrounded by some sort of mess. Sometimes that mess was my bedroom, sometimes my desk at school (and later my desk at work), my handwriting, my car, and so on.

No matter how much I tried to organize things and keep them clean, it always ended up becoming something to be embarrassed by.

Turns out, it wasn’t just me. Jessica McCabe (How to ADHD) had the same nickname.

We had a great conversation about the ups and downs of having an all-too-easy nickname rhyme that people used to label us as different, and not in a good way.

Stay curious,
Jesse J. Anderson

P.S. I’ve been really enjoying recording the ADHD Founders podcast with my friends Marie and Sharon, talking about running businesses with ADHD.

I wanted to share a recent episode we recorded about burnout and grief that people have been enjoying: ADHD Founders: Burnout, Grief, and ADHD

Hey friends,

I’m really excited to have as an Extra Focus guest writer this week!

Chris is a New York Times bestselling author and his latest title, Time Anxiety, is directly relevant for people with ADHD. He also created the NeuroDiversion conference that launched this year (you can join the waiting list to find out when tickets become available) and writes the newsletter .

Chris is also a great friend so I’m stoked to have him as a guest this week!

The Inbox of Shame: Why ADHD Brains Struggle With Digital Communication (And What To Do About It)

by Chris Guillebeau

(An excerpt adapted from "Time Anxiety" by Chris Guillebeau)

Do you ever have nightmares about unanswered emails? Wake up in a cold sweat thinking about messages you've left hanging for days, weeks, or even months?

I call it "The Inbox of Shame"—that special place in digital hell where communication goes to die and anxiety comes to thrive.

For those of us with ADHD or ADHD-like traits, inboxes aren't just tools—they're emotional minefields. Each notification represents another chance to disappoint someone, another reminder that we're struggling with something others seem to handle effortlessly.

Why ADHD Brains Get Overwhelmed By Communication

Our relationship with time affects every aspect of our lives. For the ADHD brain, digital communication presents unique challenges:

• Task switching is expensive for us: Every time we jump from deep work to check an email, our brain pays a heavy tax that neurotypical folks don't experience to the same degree.

• Decision fatigue hits us harder: Each message requires a decision - reply now? later? delegate? ignore? For the ADHD brain, these micro-decisions quickly drain our executive function reserves.

• Rejection sensitivity makes avoidance tempting: Many with ADHD experience heightened emotional responses to perceived criticism or disappointment, making it easier to avoid opening messages altogether.

• Time blindness makes "I'll reply later" dangerous: When we think "I'll get to this tomorrow," our ADHD time perception often means "tomorrow" becomes next week or never.

Why "Just Get Organized" Doesn't Work

If you've tried traditional productivity systems like Getting Things Done (GTD), you've probably noticed they treat inboxes as manageable spaces that simply need better organization.

But here's the truth: When you're drowning, you can't just swim faster.

Most productivity methods suggest you're capable of handling everything that comes your way if only you'd improve your work habits. In short, the remedy is to become superhuman.

Sound familiar? It's the same unhelpful advice we've heard our whole lives: "just try harder."

ADHD-Friendly Inbox Strategies That Actually Work

Instead of trying to become an "inbox-processing ninja," here are some approaches that work with your brain rather than against it:

1. Create a "Reply Tuesday" system

Pick one day a week when you handle most non-urgent communications. Let people know this is your system, and it removes the daily pressure of keeping up.

2. Use templates for common responses

Create ready-to-use templates for messages you send frequently. This reduces decision fatigue and makes responding less overwhelming.

3. Set up auto-responders strategically

An honest auto-responder like "I check messages as often as I can, but sometimes I miss things" sets expectations and reduces anxiety on both sides.

4. Practice "reply bankruptcy" when needed

Sometimes the best approach is to start fresh. A simple "I've fallen behind on messages, so I'm starting with a clean slate. If your message needs a response, please resend it" can be liberating.

5. Use the "delayed send" feature

This helps you avoid the trap of being hyper-responsive and cuts down on back-and-forth emailing throughout the day.

6. Use voice-to-text for replies

When typing feels overwhelming, try dictating responses. This bypasses the writing resistance that can make replying feel like climbing a mountain.

7. Face email anxiety head-on

Last but not least: if you have anxiety around opening messages, understand that your feelings won't simply get better with the passing of time. It's usually better to spend a few minutes deciding on a next step—like sending a quick acknowledgement of receipt.

Reframing Digital Communication

In "Time Anxiety," I explore how our relationship with time is often warped by unhelpful beliefs. The same applies to digital communication:

• Old belief: I must respond to everything promptly or I'm a bad person.

• New belief: I respond thoughtfully when I have the bandwidth to do so.

• Old belief: Everyone else manages their inbox perfectly.

• New belief: Most people struggle with digital overwhelm; I'm not alone.

• Old belief: My worth is tied to my responsiveness.

• New belief: I create value in many ways beyond how quickly I reply to messages.

Remember, the goal isn't to become perfect at communication. The goal is to create systems that work with your brain, not against it, so you can focus your energy on what truly matters.

This post is adapted from Chris Guillebeau's book Time Anxiety, available now wherever books are sold. If you struggle with feeling like there's never enough time, worrying about running out of time, or chronic indecisiveness over how to spend your time, the book offers practical strategies to help you feel better and worry less.

What's your biggest email or messaging struggle? Share in the comments!

Hey friends,

Maybe you’re like me, and when things are going well you start to feel this sense of dread… like you know something is just around the corner, waiting to mess everything up.

The cliche of “waiting for the other shoe to drop” where I’m not just worried about it happening, but actually expecting it to happen.

When the inevitable setback finally comes (which, let’s face it, is always going to happen eventually), I often make the mistake of responding to it with the attitude of “Ugh, I knew this wasn’t going to work out.”

Instead of dealing with the small stumble and getting back on our feet, we often just collapse and start to blame ourselves or think that we shouldn’t have even tried.

But the reality is—most things we try to accomplish are going to take longer and be more difficult than we want them to be.

And we are going to stumble. And stumble again!

Rather than see those as proof that it was doomed from the start, we should look at those as a sign of progress on doing something difficult. Yes, “of course” this was going to happen, but not because we’re a failure… it’s because we’re doing something difficult that takes long-term effort.

Stay curious,
Jesse J. Anderson

Here are some other fun things I’ve done lately:

🎙️ ADHD at Work, Life, and Love: A Deep Dive with Jesse J. Anderson

I had a wonderful conversation with Jen Barnes on The Self-Loved ADHD Woman Way podcast where we talked about a bunch of great topics including moving from shame to radical acceptance, something I think is so so important for people with ADHD! I really loved this conversation and recommend you check it out!

✍️ “My desk is a lot like my brain: absolute chaos.”

I was invited to be a guest on ‘s excellent substack, Make Writing Your Job, where I shared the behind the scenes of my story as a writer, how I get inspired, and the crazy keyboard I use to write with. It was a lot of fun and I even share a few of my favorite writing strategies to help me get my writing done.

Hey friends,

One of the biggest ADHD challenges is something I call the activation barrier.

When you know exactly what you want to do in the moment, but there’s this invisible wall that you can’t seem to break through and actually start doing the thing.

It often seems to be active when there’s something important I feel like I should be doing and just can’t seem to do—but it also gets in the way when I’m trying to do something that I actually want to do!

People often describe it like this:

“My brain wants to do it… but my body won’t move.”

“I freeze up even when I want to do the thing.”

For a long time, whenever this happened, I would blame myself. Others would call me lazy or say I lacked willpower, and I couldn’t argue because I didn’t have any other explanation. So the label stuck. And the guilt and the shame stuck.

Now I know that it’s because my brain works differently.

ADHD brains need that spark, that excitement to help move into action. Something that ignites our interest or creativity and gets us engaged and moving.

Once we start moving, we can break through that activation barrier and keep going.

It’s not about feeling bad when you can’t get started. It’s about figuring out which things help you to get started, and leaning into those. Whenever you do break through the activation barrier—take notes! Find what energizes your brain and then use that when you’re stuck!

We’re often so excited when something does work, that we don’t take the time to pay attention to why it worked, what was the unique thing that helped us actually move into action this time?

Sometimes it might be about lowering the activation cost to something extremely simple, like putting a single dish away.

Other times it might be about connecting a task with a hobby you’re currently fascinated by.

Or maybe it’s about distracting (and entertaining) your brain with an interesting podcast, making it easier to do some mundane chore as just “something else to do while I’m doing the thing I enjoy.”

But when you notice something working, take not!

Stay curious,
Jesse J. Anderson

P.S. Yesterday I launched my ADHD Motivation Mastery course and there’s still a limited time to join the founding cohort for half off! Once the doors close (this Sunday), it won’t be available again until a future launch.

In the course, we’ll be diving into how to navigate motivation with ADHD so you can get unstuck, and can finally get started, keep going, and finally finish the things that matter most. We’ll be doing some live workshops as part of the course and I can’t wait to work with some of you!

P.P.S. If you want a live walkthrough of how ADHD motivation actually works, and some real-world strategies you can start using right away—I’m also hosting a free live Masterclass tomorrow (Wednesday)!

👉 Save your free spot here​

It’s a great chance to get even more help and see if ADHD Motivation Mastery feels like a good fit for you!

Unfocused bits

Some random things in my life.

📫 My hunt for the perfect email app

I’ve been doing my all-too-regular routine of trying out lots of different email apps because I’m never satisfied with the options I have.

I was using Hey, which I actually like a lot and seems very compatible with my brain, but it had some issues with some automations I’m doing with Gmail, so now I’m exploring other options. I wanted to like Superhuman (which lives up to the “fastest email” hype), but something about the interface just doesn’t work with my brain. I’m currently using Shortwave, which is decent on desktop and has nice keyboard shortcuts (which is important to me), but the iPhone version just isn’t that great. Notion Mail seems promising, but no iPhone version yet means it’s a non-starter.

Don’t tempt me with trying to create my own perfect email app because that’s exactly what I want to do… 😬

👋 Working on Wavepal

In addition to working on the ADHD Motivation Mastery launch this week, I’m continuing to plug away on Wavepal—the app I’m building with a friend to help me remember to be a better friend.

I’m really bad at remembering to stay in touch with my friends and family, so we started building Wavepal to help with that!

So far, it’s going great! I’m already finding it super useful for remembering to stay in touch as well as taking important notes on the important people in my life. Plus we just started onboarding our first early users so it’s now a real product used by real people. 🎉

Really excited to see where this goes.

Hey friends,

For much of my life, I felt broken.

Something was wrong, everyone else could see it. And I spent decades trying to figure out how to fix it. Blaming myself every time I “screwed up” again. Whether it was me being late to an appointment (or job interview), forgetting some important detail, or just not being to motivate myself to finish that really important project.

Worse, it seemed like everywhere were solutions that claimed to be just what I was looking for. So when those didn’t work—supposed systems that were meant to solve everything—I just felt like even more of a failure.

Even when I found something that did actually work for me, others complained that I wasn’t doing it the proper way. And sometimes I even felt like I was cheating. “It’s sad that I need to do _____, just to get this task done,” I would tell myself.

But what I’ve realized more recently is that there’s no use fighting who I am.

And it’s way more fun if I accept me for me, rather than letting guilt and shame drive the way I feel myself!

If I do better at getting a task done by making it silly or doing it the way that takes more time but is way more fun—that’s okay! Leaning into what works better with my brain is the approach that actually makes sense, no matter what others might think or say.

I’m allowed to do it the way that works for me.

(And as most ADHDers know, we often find a much better way of getting something done because we aren’t fixated on the supposed “right” way to do something)

Stay curious,
Jesse J. Anderson

P.S. You may have gotten an email about this yesterday—I just released a new free ADHD + Motivation series and you can check out the first video here.

Make sure to sign up on that page to get the rest of the series sent to you.

Unfocused bits

Just a few random things going on for me right now.

• 🕵️‍♀️ My wife and I just finished watching The Residence—a super fun whodunnit comedy series that happens to take place in The White House. When someone is found dead during a state dinner, an eccentric Sherlock-esque detective (Cordelia Cupp) is brought in to interview and deal with 150 potential suspects. While it doesn’t quite reach the high bar set by Only Murders in the Building, fans of that will likely enjoy this murder mystery as well.

• ⚾ As a long suffering fan of the Seattle Mariners, it’s been a fun start this year to see them doing quite well and leading the division! Between Cal Raleigh currently leading the league in home runs, and plays like this amazing catch from our rookie Ben “Air” Williamson… I’m pretty sure we’re gonna win the World Series this year.