3 motivation myths

Important things don't get done just because they're important.

I’ve quit jobs over time sheets.

Filling one out takes maybe ten minutes. For most people. For me it felt like it would probably take ten hours.

I knew it was important. I often couldn’t get paid without it.

But I still couldn’t make myself do it. No matter how important it was, no matter how big the reward was, no matter how harsh the consequence was.

And the reason is that many of us with ADHD grew up hearing three big claims about how motivation was supposed to work.

For ADHD, all three of these are myths.

Myth 1: If it’s important to you, you’ll do it.

We knew that the time sheet was important, but knowing was never our problem. For our brain, knowing something is important just isn’t enough to push us into getting it done.

This often results in non-action, which others interpret as a lack of care or understanding of how important something is.

Myth 2: Bigger rewards will motivate action.

Reward can actually work for us, but only when they are immediate. Telling me about a big payoff weeks from now might as well be the promise of a payout in a completely different dimension.

Even if I really want the reward, when it’s too far away, it just doesn’t help me find that motivation to get anything done. Promises of “think how good you’ll feel when it’s done” simply don’t ring true for most of us with ADHD. I feel bad now, and it doesn’t seem to be improving.

Myth 3: Harsher consequences will give you more willpower.

When I have large, looming consequences for something I’m struggling to get done, it doesn’t motivate me.

In fact, it seems to sap any motivation I have for other tasks as well, essentially causing the exact opposite of the often intended effect.

Underneath all three of these myths is another: “just try harder.”

Oh how I dreamed of just putting in a little more effort and somehow all my dreams could be achieves. But like many with ADHD, I was trying harder than most people realized, and yet my efforts often seemed to be in vain.

The problem wasn’t effort, it’s that I was focusing that effort on the wrong strategies that weren’t built to work with my brain.

I needed to try, but try differently, not try harder.

Think of something you know was important, but you still avoided for weeks. Then think of something else you happily did that wasn’t very important at all. Then look for the difference in those motivating factors. Did one come easier because you tried harder? Or because it was more important, had a bigger reward, or a larger consequence? Or were you more motivated by something being more interesting, novel, challenging, or urgent?

That difference is your brain telling you what actually motivates it into getting things done.

This week’s worksheet: Three Motivation Myths. Retire the myths that have had too much weight in your life.

P.S. You know that thing where you really want to do the thing, but you still don’t do it? ADHD Motivation Mastery shows you why and gives you the tools to start anyway, stay consistent, and finally finish what matters to you. Sale ends soon!