When the vibe is off, I just can't deal
Hey friends,
Recently I had the chance to meet someone who is a top expert in their field, hoping our conversation would go well and I'd be able to work with them.
I knew that for this side project I was thinking about, working with them would give me a better chance of getting more attention on my project and ultimately leading to a success. I was stoked that they took the time to meet with me, and hoped we would hit it off and it would be the start of something super cool.
That's not exactly how it went.
The conversation was... fine. They were perfectly kind and offered a lot of helpful advice and suggestions. But something about the conversation was not sitting right with me.
They seemed really focused on the barriers I would have to finding success. The things that would get in the way, the things that could go wrong, why I was being too ambitious and hoping for too much based on my situation.
I did thank them for taking the time to meet with me (and genuinely appreciated that they took the time). Then I just spent some time thinking about what just happened, and why it just felt so... off.
I entered the meeting excited, and left feeling deflated.
I think for the right person, this meeting would've been exactly the type of thing they needed. Maybe this person is an expert in their field precisely because they help push people into grinding and proving their way to the top.
But man. That just ain't me.
As I thought about it, I realized just how important it is for me to align with the energy for someone I'm going to work with. I'm not talking about woo-woo energy or anything like that, just the general vibe and what we are focused on.
This person was just so focused on the "why it can't work"s and I know that is the sort of thing that is going to drain me, not energize me.
I can't afford to have things that drain me unless they are absolutely necessary.
I need a focus on why it can work, reaching for the stars and figuring it out along the way. Encouragement and vision and belief that we'll get there, even if things stand in our way.
One thing I've learned about the way my brain works, is that trying to force things because I think "this would work for someone else" or "this should work for me" is just going to end up with failure and shame.
I need to trust that when my brain says something is off, then something is off.
And that's okay.
— Jesse
P.S. I started posting some of my ADHD Nerds podcast episodes on a new YouTube channel. Subscribe now if you want to see each video episode as I add them, and maybe... new episodes soon?
Here’s something else fun I did recently:
While I was in Boise for the Craft + Commerce conference recently, I recorded an episode on the Growth in Reverse podcast. We talked about the business side of running a newsletter, strategies for navigating all the different platforms, and being open and honest about how I'm navigating the business world now that I'm trying to make self-employment work. 😅
It was so fun to chat with my friends Chenell and Dylan, if you're at all interested in the business of running a newsletter or curious about the behind-the-scenes of what I do, you should check it out:
"I can't afford to have things that drain me unless they are absolutely necessary."
Oof, yes, I feel that.