97 Comments

Hi y’all! I’m a half-Japanese 27-year-old from Germany, and I got my (in)formal AuDHD diagnoses I think over the last two years? Idk, time flies.

For a very long time I just thought my family was a bit weird, but turns out we’re all some types and degrees of neurodivergent.

This year I’m hoping I’ll finally get my bachelor’s degree (English and American Studies), only eleven years after starting uni, whoops. An intense struggle with both long term planning and establishing a regular habit of writing and researching made me fail the final thesis once and eventually drop out, but with this newfound knowledge of myself and an array of coping mechanisms (and the help of nd friends at uni) I’m optimistic that I’ll manage to do it this time around. Last try though, but maybe that’s the pressure I need :D

Also, writing is one of my many hobbies, but those all come and go in cycles so we’ll see what becomes of my Substack (if anything).

Nice to meet you all!

(I tried reading all the introductions but there are simply too many for my attention span. I guess that’s a good thing!)

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Hi Jesse, I'm from Christchurch, New Zealand and David Farrier (Webworm here on Substack and investigative journalist/documentary maker) recommended this blog. I was diagnosed in June last year with ADHD at the age of 45. It has been eye opening.

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Hi everyone! This is Monica. Jesse I read just today an interview in one of the local papers here in Galicia (Spain), where I live. It's been a while that I'm thinking there is a high possibility that myself is one of those undiagnosed adults with TDAH. So, happy happy to be here absorbing all experiences you people have lived and understanding my life and behaviours so far, turning 60 in a month. A big thanks first of all. I'm struggling with depression and anxiety, school, relationships, work etc issues since fourteen years old, asked my mumm for help from a psicotherapist at seventeen and the guy said "she is an artist". I know I am, but, I can't even start nor art nor anything else because I am a perfectionist and lowsteemed as I feel there is no point as "I will fail", this coming from years and years hearing that. But, I am a sociable, popular, good looking, very intelligent unemployed divorced mother who is now in a quite moment -as son and daughter are independent- with plenty of time to find answers. What I only want is to start living a life free of culpability and regrets. Thank you allá again!!

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Hello Jesse and everyone here. I live in South Carolina, US, but New York born and raised. I’m retired, kids grown and widowed. I retired after working federal civil service for 32 years; Electrical Engineering on submarines and later Hazardous Waste Management. Now I keep busy with house DIY projects and lots of crafting. I love card making, beading, crochet, knitting and cross-stitch.

I was diagnosed ADHD at 60 and it explained so much! I also struggle with anxiety disorder and PTSD. I’ve been through a lot in the last 5 years…lost my husband to Glioblastoma in 2019, lost my stepdad to cancer in 2021 and took over Mom’s care (alcoholic dementia), lost Mom in 2024. Therapy has helped a lot but I can always learn more and use some help. 💜

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Hey Jesse and all the lovely folks here I’m Terrell (tear-l) I’m from Mumbai, India. I got diagnosed for mild ADD last year but always had this feeling that I was different. I mostly got checked cause I started struggling in basic things in my work @ relationships with ppl I cared about and it bothered me & severely lowered my self esteem.

I’m an a self taught artist and Professionally a product designer. Besides my work I’ve recently become a fitness freak that started with trekking and hiking which I still try to maintain. Otherwise I have a big checklist of hobbies I started and never really saw through (some honourable mentions karate, roller skating, contemporary dancing, guitarist)

Over the past year now I’ve really come to accept myself and how I am while also trying to evolve and grow.

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Hi Terrell, welcome! I also have a giant checklist of hobbies that I'm hoping to get to. I want to start "Project Sidequest" where I intentionally set aside time to pursue some of those fun ideas that I never seem to get around to. Glad to have you here!

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Hi, I’m Tom from southern England and I’m 39. I’m currently awaiting an assessment but have suspected ADHD for years now. It all clicked into place when I was looking at the diagnostic criteria for my daughter who has ASD and the criteria could have been a direct description of me. I decided then to explore getting a diagnosis.

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Hi Tom! I hear that a lot—had I not been diagnosed first, I'm pretty sure I would've reacted the same when we were first exploring my daughter's diagnosis.

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Hi Jesse and everyone else! I'm Corey. I live in Colorado near Boulder. I was diagnosed with ADHD during the neurodiversity wave of 2020 (i.e. when all of us started going insane being home and out of our routines and discovered our ADHD). Part of why I decided to get evaluated was because my kids had been diagnosed and I noticed a ton of similarities. I'm married to a fellow ADHD'er and 4 of my 5 kids have either Autism, ADHD, or both.

I love writing (my substack is https://www.chordquill.com), playing music (guitar, piano, bass, and more), playing video games, hiking with my dogs, cooking and a ton more. I work at Adobe as a Design Program Manager and love my job. I have 5 kids, 3 dogs, 2 cats, and 1 wife. I love them all.

I'm here for the same reason you all are - to share with like-minded folks!

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Hey Corey—yeah, ADHD awareness definitely got a bit of a jump start when people's coping methods and systems (that they didn't know were coping) all went away in 2020.

I've been using Adobe products since my dad got me a copy of Photoshop 3 back in the mid-90s, so always cool to hear from someone that works there! Even though I've pivoted to doing more development than strictly design these days, I likely owe my career to getting that early Adobe experience (and making concert fliers for all my friend's bands)!

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Hi! I'm Mary Ann (aka: Moe). I'm 61 and was diagnosed about 8 months ago with ADHD and MDD. The MDD is probably from masking for 55 years of my life. Imagine a steryl salmon working furiously to get upstream all for nothing. That's me. I'm still in the discovery phase of things. I have found some coping methods, mostly cognitive and paper-based, but have so much learning to do, not just about this disorder, but about myself. When you have been masking since childhood it's hard to know who you actually are!

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Hi Moe, great to have you here! I've actually been on a bit of a kick with trying more analog and paper-based methods lately. Primarily with a bullet journal. I'd love to hear what's working for you!

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Mostly planners work for me. But I have to be careful because I have so many! I grab whatever is handy, so everything is scattered! I am trying to set up a blog to have a place to express myself, too, but more for commenting on current ADHD news and politics, in general. I'm not much of a journalist. When I do journal, it's mostly just me ranting about something or another. Looking forward to reading yours and others posts!

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Hey there, Sugars. I'm Rachel and for a long time I thought I had to prove I was like everyone else and could do a 'normal' detail-y boring job to prove my value. Then I realized the normal folks would totally pay me for my perspective because what I bring to the table is a take they never would have thought of. They found value in what I never did! I hope I can bring hope and self compassion to other weirdos. Because, maybe we're not so weird, we're just the other half that makes the whole

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Hey Rachel—yes 100%! Love that you've found that perspective and leaned into what makes you, you. Welcome!

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Hi everyone! I'm Zeke! I have AuDHD— I got my ADHD diagnosis ~2019 and should hopefully be formally getting my autism diagnosis soon. I have a wonderful husband, a delightful boyfriend, and an amazing datemate, all of whom are also autistic, and only one of whom doesn't have ADHD. My husband goes in for his Disability doc exam tomorrow!!! which is huge for us.

I make TTRPGs and ARGs (as WeARGames), and do a little bit of freelance work (with a specialty in setting up functional and accessible Discord servers) when my disabilities allow me to. I'm currently working on the (unnecessarily detailed) world building for my next ARG, which involves painstakingly translating an IRL city map into what it might be like 750 years after an apocalypse. I'm slightly driving myself crazy with it, but it's also very fun.

I'm thankfully medicated for my ADHD (instant release Adderall twice a day and Wellbutrin in the morning) but even so, I still struggle a LOT with motivation and focus. Something that's been a huge help to me for a long time is MyNoise.net— Stéphane has dozens of (AI-free) sound generators to help with focus, relaxing, sleep, etc. Vintage Office is my favorite for working, with its background office chatter (but nothing is decipherable, so my brain doesn't focus in on the speech), dot matrix printers, and click-clacky keyboards. I've been using a combination of either Night Blue (jazzy/bluesy music generator) or Twin Black Lodges (Twin Peaks-inspired atmospheric music) with the train sounds generator to help me sleep (and block out my boyfriend gaming and chatting with friends at 4am).

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Hi Zeke, hope your husband's exam went well!

I must be weird too because world building a post-acapoclyptic version of a city sounds super fun. 😂

I love brain.fm for helping me focus, but it's not free. I've heard that mynoise.net is a great alternative—love that they have a twin peaks version!

Welcome!

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Hi Jesse and all. I’m from Germany and I am 31 and married to also someone with adhd. I’m officially diagnosed and my husband not. But it’s pretty obvious… I follow Jesse for such a long time, but never engaged into an community. I am not good with words but I always relate so good to Jesses quotes and hope to deal better with my adhd. I really try to deal better with everything and was hoping, some direct contact to people like me will help more.

I’m working in Sales, but my profession was hearing aid specialist. I’m working in a new job since Oktober, but I already want to change 🫠 I think you can relate…. Ja, feeling a bit los in general 😂

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Hi Karolin, welcome!

I definitely relate to the feeling of wanting to change jobs. I usually approach a new job with a lot of optimism, but when the intro period fades away and it becomes "just another job", I feel that itch to find something new. 🙃

Glad to have you here!

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Hi Jesse and everyone!

I’m Denis, 42 years old. I live in Ukraine (used to live in Kharkiv, but after the war started, I moved to Lviv). I was diagnosed with ADHD last year, but as I was told, I’ve already managed to cope with many of the ADHD symptoms, so they aren’t visible to outsiders. :)

I’m married and a father to a tiny beautiful girl.

I’m a web developer, but I recently left my company to start my journey as a solopreneur. I’m trying to develop services that are helpful for people with ADHD (including myself).

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Hey Denis,

I'm also a web developer—currently working full-time but I dream of becoming a solopreneur someday. I'd love to build apps that help ADHDers. If only I had more time. 😅

Welcome!

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Hey, y'all. I'm a journalist and researcher and I cover far right extremism. I was diagnosed with ADHD about ten years ago, but it seems clear it's been an issue my entire life.

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Hey Teddy, glad to have you here!

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Hi everyone, I'm Kelsey and I live in Auckland, New Zealand. I have far too many hobbies including cooking, painting, DIYing, and especially reading & sewing.

I've always known my brain works differently to most people, and have suspected I have ADHD for about four years since a friend was diagnosed. I did a ton of research and found I fit pretty perfectly into the classic "bright but anxious child becomes a burnt-out adult" story. Eventually I got up the courage to talk to my GP about possibly having ADHD but was immediately shot down, so my diagnosis journey went on hold for a couple of years.

We didn't know it at the time, but my brother (who lives in Australia) and I were both advised by our counsellors around the same time last year that we should be assessed for ADHD. My brother has since been diagnosed, and I'm working through the diagnosis process. Regardless of whether I get a formal diagnosis or not, I'm always looking out for strategies & tools to help me with my ADHD-like traits, and I love hearing stories from others about what works for them!

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Welcome Kelsey! New Zealand is about on top of places I'd love to visit, so it's always cool to hear about people from there that read Extra Focus. 😅

Ah yeah, the all-too-familiar "bright but anxious child becomes a burnt-out adult" story... 🫠

I'm glad you're here—good luck with the diagnosis!

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Hi Jesse! I am just a little north of you! I live on Vancouver Island in British Columbia, Canada. I was diagnosed with adhd almost 10 years ago after working within the medical model supporting ND kiddos for 15 years.

Everything i thought I understood about neurodivergence confused me, when I tried to understand the traits in myself, and my two ND daughters. There was grief, relief and after much rabbit- holing, hyperfocus and research, there was clarity.

After a decade in management for different service providers, human resources and a director in my last position, I took some time away to focus on my girls and then decided to start my own business supporting the different neurotypes in the workplace.

Actually, to be truthful, my story wasn't much different then yours. I tried to get back in the workforce but after years of being successful in management, I couldn't pass an interview. So, it was more a means to an end. I needed to work and I also didn't want to see others go through what I have. It seems to be the reason we all are attracted to this line of work, doesn't it? I have appreciated your insights and honesty over the years, so my heartfelt thanks for that.

The business is in it's second year and it is going well! I am grateful for the many connections and new friends, and I will be presenting at the annual CPHR conference this year for my peers. It will be a milestone for me.

I just gave my website a face-lift, check it out if you have the time;) www.mindmosaic.ca

Kindly,

Lisa

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Hi Lisa!

MindMosaic looks super interesting, I'd love to hear more about that some time! Maybe you could do a guest post at some point and share a bit more about how businesses can make their workplace more inclusive of neurodivergent team members. I think that'd help people out a lot.

Glad you're here!

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Hi Jesse! I'm Elizabeth and my brother lives in Puyallup! I'm down the way in Portland. I always thought ADHD meant under parented little boys who couldn't sit still, so I was surprised when my son was diagnosed in high school. (He grew up overseas otherwise I'm sure would have been diagnosed much earlier.) As I began to research what ADHD was, I recognized myself over and over and over. The lack of organizational skills. The time blindness. The interruptions. And much more. However, I took my time getting officially diagnosed, and it wasn't until a marriage counselor suggested I try meds. So I was over 50 when diagnosed. I can't remember how I found you, but I'm happy I did. I'm still learning a lot and sometimes I feel like my whole personality is ADHD! As I've learned more, I see it in extended family, and I'm pretty sure my daughter has it as well.

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I'm seriously so surprised that people have heard of Puyallup, let alone lived here (or have family living here!)

I also often feel like my whole personality is ADHD. It's not out of choice or anything, it's just the reality because it affects so much of my life.

Welcome Elizabeth! 🙂

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